Hey Guys! My name is Charlie Feldman, I am “The Groom,” and this is the story of The Groom’s Speech. That’s me in the photo below with my newly-wedded wife Sheila.

I am really stoked you found my website. Let me say that my wedding day was truly the best day of my life. At the risk of sounding of like a giddy little teenage girl, I’ll even say it again: my wedding was the best day ever!

On that day, I married my best friend and love of my life Sheila under the tropical rays at the beautiful Infinity Chapel on the beautiful island of Bali. It was perfect. Family, close friends… let me tell you it was an emotional day for me.

So why the website, Charlie? Well, besides all the warm fuzzy feelings on my wedding day there was one tiny small black cloud. That black cloud is what this story is about.

Let me explain…

I had to make a groom’s speech. In front of Shelia. In front of my parents. In front of my best friends. I was never one who was too great at public speaking and I really didn’t want to mess this up because, hey let’s face it, you only get one wedding day.

So while Sheila was busy picking out her dress, planning on what floral arrangements she wanted and what wedding cake we were going to cut, I was doing the important work: I sweating my groom wedding speech! I asked my friends, I went to the library, I read magazines, groom jokes, groom toasts, and I looked online. There was a lot of good advice for grooms out there, but a lot of junk too.

Then the day came… I. Nailed. It.

Afterwards more than a few of our guests approached me not just to congratulate me but also to tell me how much they liked my speech and how it was one of the best groom’s speeches they had heard, ever. You get why it was the best day of my life?

Luckily I wrote down all the tips that I used, and because I figured I couldn’t be the only guy in the world who had the same problem, I started this website to help other grooms-to-be with their wedding speeches. I want every guy to feel that same mix of happiness, confidence, and excitement that I felt that day. And I want to share my best kept secret. Out of all the stuff on wedding speeches I went through, this little secret of mine was by far the most useful and the single biggest reason why I was able to come up with such a great speech: a guidebook called Groom Speeches: Say the Right Words at the Right Time.

This guidebook, written by Dan Stevens who apparently also wrote some other wedding books, lays it out real easy for you to come up with your own speech. It has 20 grooms’ speech examples and loads of toasts, jokes, and one-liners you can use. It was easy for me to pick out parts I liked and adapt them for myself. The ideas he gives you are time-tested and flat out work. Want funny groom speeches? Perhaps witty or heartfelt ones? It’s all there. You really can’t go wrong if you follow what Dan says.

OK, I’ve just given out my best kept secret to you. Now do yourself a big favor and click here to check it out.

-Charlie Feldman

Writing a groom’s speech for your upcoming wedding can be a harrowing idea, especially if you are unprepared and anxious. Now I certainly hope for your sake you aren’t reading with only a few days to go, but even if you are, these 5 speech writing secrets I’m about to share with you should help alleviate some of that anxiety and maybe even help you deliver a great speech.

Remember that on your wedding day, your groom speech is just one of several wedding speeches that will be delivered that day. Your bride, your parents, your maid of honor, your best man… everyone is in the same boat as you, so just relax and go with it. You’re all there to celebrate your newly wedded union, not compete on who can deliver the best State of the Union. Once you realize this, you will be able to relax and give a great, natural speech with ease.

Now that you are comfortably relaxed, here are the 5 secrets to writing groom wedding speeches:

1. Ever wonder why some speakers immediately command your attention as soon as they open their mouths while others simply fail to keep you attentive no matter what they say? It all starts with the first words. You could dive into the groom speech headfirst without testing the water, or you could turn up the heat first and wait for the water to get warm, then step in. What would you rather do? Great groom speeches start off by warming up the audience and grabbing their attention. Start off with a funny joke or story about the wedding (it took months to plan, I’m sure something funny happened to you during that time) or talk about yourself or the bride. If you start off with a good impression, 80% of your work is practically done.
2. Everyone loves a good story. Remember when your parents used to read to you before you fell asleep? Though the words and literature were basic and very straightforward, you probably enjoyed the story and that’s why you made your parents read you the same books over and over again. The story line, not the words, are what people love. Throw in a story of your childhood when you first learned what a wedding was or when you first met your bride. Maybe something touching, moving, or monumental that happened during the relationship. The better the ending, the better the entire story, keep that in mind.
3. A common characteristic of the best groom speeches that you’ve heard in your life are that were probably delivered very naturally and with great confidence. How do you sound natural and confident? One word: practice. Practicing is the single biggest key that lets your mind and body learn new skills. Let’s face it, nobody won an Olympic medal without practice. Nobody got their driver’s license without practice behind the wheel. Want to delivering a natural-sounding groom’s speech at a wedding? You better believe it takes practice. Allow yourself to become familiar with your words and with delivery. You will be astounded at how this overlooked secret can greatly impact your performance, at anything!
4. An easy way to connect with your audience is to let your emotions out but under control. Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and undoubtedly you will be running wild with emotions. Let it out at controlled points in your speech! You will find it very easy to incorporate your feelings throughout the groom wedding speech. People associate positively with emotion, especially if they can find themselves sharing the same ones. Sharing our emotions is what brings us together, to let us remember that we are all same inside. Use this to your advantage.
5. The last secret is really a sneaky little trick and will be particularly useful to those who are getting married in a matter of days, hours, or minutes. A big portion of our communication is not our words but our body language. It’s not what you say that is important but how you say it. So even if you have what you believe to be the crummiest of groom wedding speeches ever written in recorded history, say it with enough confidence and candor and nobody will realize it. If your angle is to be funny, act funny, be funny. If you want to be genuine, speak genuinely and use genuine body language (eye contact, squared body, head up vs. averted eyes, turned body, head down). Whatever you want your wedding speech to be, if you make it your mindset to be exactly that and act exactly that way, people will be immune to the fact that your words are not Pulitzer prize winning material and cheer you on heartily.

Hopefully you have picked up a few great groom’s speech writing secrets in the 5 that I have revealed to you during my research when I was preparing my own wedding speech. Before I send you off, I’ll throw in one more secret: look for successful groom speech examples. If you think a speech is good, chances are others will too. Use what has worked for others and incorporate some of that material into your own speech. The best reference I found was Groom Speeches, which included 20 tried and true speeches for grooms to use. Sometimes when you are out of inspiration, you just have to look elsewhere for it. Just reading other speech examples may just spark an idea of your own.